matyea

matyea @ 2009-02-21T19:38:00

2009-02-22T01:58:23Z

epic45 - cold evening colours
pluxus - ers majestät

matyea @ 2009-02-04T13:43:00

2009-02-04T19:44:44Z

hands in

2008-12-24T00:50:32Z

looking forward

2008-12-22T22:12:31Z

26

2008-12-21T22:45:25Z

matyea @ 2008-10-01T02:09:00

2008-12-17T08:11:58Z

things being done

2008-12-16T03:52:38Z

hiding brown sugar in the dishwasher
washing dishes in milk
sleeping in an outfit for the next day

transplant

2008-12-16T02:46:03Z

matyea @ 2008-12-15T18:30:00

2008-12-16T00:33:02Z

Names

2008-12-16T00:10:50Z

Lizolet Vogt
Idril Stepp
Gruffudd Post
Algernon Simeon
Ade Copeland
Camila Earleen
Tamika Shook
Edwina Vertie
Hyun Sherrill
Aymer Hector
Raylene Bernadine
Sally Hildegard
Merrill Best
Adolph Cannon
Benjy Leonid
Nu Geri
Maynard Winters
Bobbi Brittanie
Bartlet Kraig
Ignaz Cy
Velvet Penney
Linn Klaus
Kamala Yuri
Eloise Modesta
Dunc Suvendu
Burk Exavier
Cammy Ryann
Currey Ignacio
Faustina Consuelo
Adela Engle

matyea @ 2008-09-16T18:10:00

2008-09-16T22:13:04Z

if you go to http://www.adambernales.com/overdue.htm

and click this:

you can buy the zine i mentioned here before

matyea @ 2008-07-29T02:19:00

2008-07-29T00:59:39Z

back in nice, tired.

matyea @ 2008-07-01T01:11:00

2008-06-30T23:28:49Z

i feel like shit inside qnd out; i wish i could say it's just because i'm a little sick the past few days but i really don't know what's wrong with me.

i should probably be taking ,ore away fro, this than i am or so is expressed to me regularly. i can never tell if nothing's chjanged or it's all changed co,pletely.

im in paris now staying with a friend of a friend leaving for ger,any soon. and not used to the french keyboard.

misunderstanding

2008-06-04T22:50:20Z

before i got on my plane, almost missing my plane, i hurried to fix up a zine i laid out years ago. don't really know why. i started look at some of the photos in chicago, brought them to canada even though i was only there for a couple days and saved xeroxing it for the morning of my flight out to nice. and i finally stapled it altogether today. i made a lot of changes, smaller than i imagined, only 18 images. it covers when i first started taking pictures pretty much. the chicago suburbs, driving/walking around all night, the time we picked up my grandma from detroit to bring her( i had no idea at the time how that would affect my life now), i was also working in the sears tower at the time looking out the windows day and night. looking back now i'm not sure why it was so important i finish it or why i never did but at least i dont have to worry about it anymore. unless i want to do a better version, i did actually mix up the order while xeroxing doublesided but nothing is ever quite right anyway.

forest lean & europe

2008-04-27T20:44:34Z

_______________________

Finally picked up tickets, flying out of Toronto to Nice May 28th, wont be back until September 10th. Considering I was barely able to afford the ticket I'm not really sure how I'm going to make it overseas but I'm trying not to think about it too much. I'm hoping I can get enough money together just to buy some film so I'm not over there and unable to take any pictures, the above is the first picture I've taken with a camera in a month or two so I'm hoping to back to it. Though maybe I should just forget pictures altogether and learn to write or draw, or anything would probably be better.

I'm still not entirely sure where I'll be in Europe aside from Nice with family and hanging out with Mona in Romania. If there's anyone who would like to meet while I'm there feel free to say something, right now it looks like I'll be meeting with a couple different people.

matyea @ 2008-01-22T14:58:00

2008-01-22T21:00:18Z

l/r - Untitled 2

John Maus - Do Your Best

Quetzolcoatl - Magic Breath

notes

2007-11-24T03:32:21Z

matyea @ 2007-09-20T01:15:00

2007-09-20T06:18:41Z

matyea @ 2007-09-09T18:50:00

2007-09-09T23:51:43Z

notes

2007-09-02T06:44:57Z

matyea @ 2007-09-02T01:10:00

2007-09-02T06:31:14Z

it sounds depressing, the past few days i don't know what i'm waking up to. i don't know why i do what i do, i space through the entire day doing little but walk and while i'm walking at a point i wonder where else to go, or what else i could be doing, so i run nowhere and i wish i was being glib when i say that but i really am running nowhere in particular and for no reason. but i have been sleeping well, well, i've been sleeping earlier, and waking up earlier, and dreaming a lot the past week so actually it feels like i'm awake when i'm asleep because i'm not used to it, and they're all frenetic. an earthquake while sitting in a library last night with me sliding down a collapsed floor and the light turning pink and orange where i can't tell if i'm slipping to lava or if it's a bomb going off and i wake up feeling like i just went to bed. i feel lately like there's an answer in front of me that i'm not seeing, but i know i shouldn't be thinking about it so much. and i miss someone.

notes

2007-08-22T04:41:35Z

matyea @ 2007-08-19T19:40:00

2007-08-20T00:41:45Z

scraped scratched, nicked, and bitten by just about everything in this field

matyea @ 2007-08-14T23:33:00

2007-08-15T04:46:31Z

matyea @ 2007-08-11T01:30:00

2007-08-11T07:43:08Z

My responsibilities here are almost done for now. I have no I idea what I'll be doing for the next few months. At the very least even if I keep helping take care of my grandma it won't be just me. Even though my mom and Jaclyn think I have all the patience in the world my grandma wears even me out a bit.

I don't think I'll ever really understand where she comes from, we don't even really talk because it doesn't even seem like there's someone on the other end. And it's not even her age, she's just a horrible person I guess. The personal stuff doesn't bother me so much she can call me ugly and stupid and make her weird comments about me being half hispanic all she wants. When she starts to talk about my mom or other people in general it gets to me. Calling my mom fat, being racist towards friends and people on the street, she's just hateful for the sake of it as far as I can tell. And there's no way to talk about it or argue. In many ways it's like taking care of a child, only I know she isn't going to grow up at some point, i can't teach her a lesson because she's not going to grow up to be a better person. At lunch today she leaned across the table to tell me in a loud and disgusted tone that the women a table over were really fat and I couldn't say stop fast enough. I of course received dirty looks when the ladies left and was saying sorry as much as I could with my eyes, I said it actually but not loud enough that they could hear probably. Fate must have a sense of humor though since when we got up to leave I turned around to see her pants had fallen off because she's lost so much weight her old clothes don't fit as well. Not much quite like pulling up a ninety year old woman's pants up in public but the absurdity of the situation made me laugh at least.

If this post wasn't geriatric enough I have an article on my grandfather coming out in September in Slash Magazine, the site has it listed under literary which I find funny for some reason.

I still have no idea what to do from here but I need to get some sleep.